Tales of a… Plus Size model & Hollywood Actress

Robyn Lawler: chairI love Robyn Lawley, not only because she’s Australian, but because she has the intellect to recognise that the fashion industry needs a little big slap in the face.  As a famous, highly regarded plus size model, it’s nice knowing that a girl who’s career is supported not only by her obvious beauty, but the current backlash on ‘skinny’ mentality of media nowadays, is happy to voice just how contradictory that message is.

Lawley believes that celebrating the ‘plus-size shape’ is not only damaging to thin women, but those who are larger as well. Pushing women of all sizes into unrealistic body type categories further perpetuates the warped standard of beauty that exists within the fashion world.  She hates being called a plus size icon, believing that it “misses the point and is blatantly offensive to thin women”.

The following paragraph, which she stated in an interview for The Guardian, is beyond amazing and shows deeply her understanding of the female psyche and how unnecessarily tolling it is on womankind to be so obsessed with shape.

“Curves don’t epitomise a woman. Saying, ‘Skinny is ugly’ should be no more acceptable than saying fat is. I find all this stuff a very controlling and effective way of making women obsess over their weight, instead of exploiting their more important attributes, such as intellect, strength and power. We could be getting angry about unequal pay and unequal opportunities, but we’re too busy being told we’re not thin enough or curvy enough. We’re holding ourselves back.”

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Another amazing effort by none other than Miss Oscar winner, Jennifer Lawrence is her refusal to fall victim to the claims of weight control by almost everyone around her, who really should just shut the hell up.  “If anybody even tries to whisper the
word ‘diet,'” she said in the November issue of Harper’s Bazaar UK., “I’m like, ‘You can go f–k yourself.” Umm, Go Girl!!

Not only that, it was only recently that I became aware that a stuck up idiot of a person (I’m forgoing the expletives) that Manhola Dargis of The New York Times’ wrote in review of the Hunger Games,

“A few years ago Ms. Lawrence might have looked hungry enough to play Katniss, but now, at 21, her seductive, womanly figure makes a bad fit for a dystopian fantasy about a people starved into submission.”

Body shaming in the form of a back-handed compliment.  It’s nice at least that celebrities aren’t submitting to the pressure.

If only more celebrities, people in the spotlight, had the opportunity and guts to fight back at the ideals, pressures and mediated cookie-cutter that women must try to fulfil.

I know I’m guilty too…

4c202d30a9ad0c0e871c4716011c5b26  To be honest, a lot of the reasoning behind this blog is stemmed from personal experiences.  As a thinner girl, I have long dealt with skinny shamming, but it is my own personal admittance of body shaming against others that I believe makes this blog truly worthwhile.

A lot of people don’t realise they’re guilty of body shaming others.  They don’t understand that thoughts about others which are vocalised, and may seem harmful, are fund insulting by the subject.

Personally, I make judgement of what other people wear…

What makes this very weird, is that I don’t judge those I know, and know well.  I never think twice of someone I love, yet a complete stranger can walk pass me and I can jump straight to a conclusion regarding who they are based on their appearance.  I understand this is completely pathetic, and I’m often disgusted when I catch myself in the act.  When I do, I immediately stop, and push my thoughts to other things. To be honest, I’m not sure why I do it.  I guess I often forget that while my passions lie in fashion, others have different priorities. And that’s not a bad thing.  My conflict here however, is that I believe that style and what we wear is an externalisation of our personality, and while it may not always suit current trends etc, presenting oneself well is important.  I don’t mean that people need worry about the latest and greatest unreasonably priced item around, but that they’re comfortable and reasonably-dressed. Even if that’s a t-shirt and jeans, if it fits the situation, then go for your life.

I know this is a grey area, people have such different beliefs regarding what one should wear, and I know it is of no one else’s business what others think of the clothing they chose, but I believe that taking care of yourself and being conscious about what you wear shows self-respect.

To end body shaming, the first step to to question whether or not you’re guilty of doing so.  Whether you judge what others wear, make back-handed compliments regarding their looks, find natural flaws in another’s appearance when intimidated to make yourself feel better or make someone feel bad for being thin or overweight, you need to stop and be honest with yourself about the reasons you do it.  Think about when you do it most, is it at a party when you’re feeling inadequate, in the office, amongst friends? Once you identify the situations, its time to start working on yourself, work out why you feel the need to judge, and then start to push those thoughts out of your mind.  A lot of people think that a solution to body shaming is to (in your head) find something you like about that person, but that’s just as bad.  The concentration is still on judging another’s character and looks. It doesn’t matter if you’re finding flaws or perfections, it’s just as demeaning.  How would you feel if someone felt compelled to force out bad thoughts regarding your looks by trying to find something positive.

Compliments should come naturally, and you should only voice them if you believe that someone would be genuinely happy to hear them.  Remember that body shaming is engrained in us by the media we consume, try swapping those trashy gossip mags for better reading material.

I encourage your feedback and thoughts regarding this issue, all comments, unless deemed off topic or insensitive, will remain.

Tales of a Thin Girl

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The aim of this site is to stop body shame. A lot of people don’t really know what that is, despite the fact that they probably participate in the very action every day. It’s not to say you’re a bad person, it’s simply that we have been conditioned in this way.

Body shaming is making someone feel bad about their body, typically out of ones own insecurities. This doesn’t necessarily mean that person is big or overweight.  A lot of the time, particularly nowadays as a result of the tabloid media’s (contradictory) backlash on ‘skinny’, small framed girls suffer as well. Ten years ago, women were angered that media didn’t diversify the types of women used in commercials, magazines and TV shows for example, today, a woman larger than a size 10 (US 6) can’t be featured in an ad without the words ‘real women have curves’ being blasted all over the front.  What do you think that now says to the girls who aren’t naturally blessed with ample breast, a cinched waist and a bodacious behind? It says you’re not sexy and you’re not a real women. Diversification is still not reached, and the sad fact is, it probably never will be.

To stop body shaming, we have to start by doing two things. The first is to start with ourselves, once we work on being self-aware and confident in who we are, only then can we challenge feelings of inadequacy and intimidation in the face of others. And two, we must stop analysing each other, stop comparing, stop challenging and start to be kind, friendly and appreciate the good qualities in everyone. Hopefully this blog can help achieve these things.