A new take on the body debate

If before I wasn’t thin enough, I’m now condemned for not being ‘normal’, and ‘normal’ today is a bodacious figure, with high sex appeal, oozing femininity. Apparently.

Every news article, blog and body issue special of our favourite magazine blames an unhealthy distortion and mold of ‘beauty’ depicted in the very newspapers and glossy fashion mags’ we consume daily.  Not to mention the movies, television shows and music clip videos that ‘feature’ underweight women or an unrealistic portrayal of what is beautiful and normal.  We see these stories, these articles that attack models for being skinny and victimise the women who fall pray to the pressure.  Unfortunately most of these stories are featured opposite an advertisement or editorial containing exactly what they oppose and are rendered irrelevant anyway.

Feministic media, so opposed to an ‘ideal’ beauty, has created a whole new one. Most ironically, it contradicts everything these body-image-conscience women hated to begin with.

As a result of the backlash, we have created a war on thin, ‘Skinny vs. Curvy’ and it’s not reserved to those featured on runways or covers.  It’s anyone.  A thin girl on the street, the dieter in the office, a size 6 and size 12 in a change room.  Plus size modelling is the answer according to these corporals of ‘realistic’ beauty.  But through the language and images used, they are really just replacing one ideal with another.



And what’s to happen to the girls who are naturally thin, or lead a healthy lifestyle? Well they are now segregated for being unhealthy and outside the new sexy, curvaceous ‘norm’. Robyn Lawley, the Miranda Kerr equivalent in the plus-size market, was featured on the front cover of The Australian Magazine quoting,

“I’m normal size, I wish we could all be known as models, rather than plus size.  It’s the skinny models who should be called minus size”.

While the first part of that remark makes sense, models shouldn’t be segregated according to their division, she complete

Let it be known, I am in no way underestimating the seriousness of health issues influenced by the media’s portrayal of ‘beauty’ and ideal weight.  I am rather highlighting the notion that amongst the strife and fight against ‘anorexic’ models, a new bread of overtly sexy, curvaceous hourglass shapes now haunts the magazine pages as the new body-to-be and aura to personify.ly undermines her comment by stating skinny models should be labelled as “minus-size”.  There it goes.  ‘Us vs. them’, ‘skinny vs. normal’.  This isn’t a social revolution, this is a war.

As misogynistic as it is, it’s all about ‘tits and ass’. Sex appeal, bodacious curves, flirty smirks, little to no clothes and throw in a raised brow for good measure.  If your overweight, apparently you’re supposed to be super sexual about it.   Too bad if you don’t have a lovely booty, a little junk in the trunk, or some bosom on top and a cinched waist in between all that, because that’s what ‘plus-size’ models are representing.  Apparently this is what’s normal? Further embedding sexual ideals, these images of supposedly ‘bigger’ women are accompanied with words like ‘over-heated’, ‘hot’,  ‘voluptuous’, and ‘sexy’.

kate-upton GQWell-known plus-size model, Kate Upton, was featured in GQ Magazine recently promoting such.  The slide show of photos online accompanies statements like “blonde bombshell” and “voluptuous curves” with suggestive words like “burst” and notes her “several memorable provocative videos”.  Upton’s’ pictures borderline soft porn, which I suppose could be excused for the target audience of a men’s magazine. Or should it?

Perhaps such a figure, which doesn’t fit designers’ samples of size 6, is so alien that the only way to show it off is to strip it naked or skimp it out?  Our ‘skinny’ ideals are being replaced by curves and increased sexuality.  This is not displaying an acceptance of diversity, but a clear exchange of one version of ‘perfect’ with another. And other than Kate’s ‘chest puppies’, does she even look close to ‘plus’ to you?


Despite her smaller frame, Kate Upton doesn’t escape the skinny vs. curvy scrutiny. Pro-thin blog, Skinny Gossip, describe her as a “squishy brick” followed by, “Is this what American women are “striving” for now? The lazy, lardy look? Have we really gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best we can aim for? Sorry, but: eww!”

A plus-size model can vary anywhere up to an Australian size 16 or 18; however, the most successful models tend to maintain a size 10 average.  Crystal Renn, a ‘plus-size’ model from the U.S, appeared on the Today morning show in Ame

rica after she was photo-shopped to look thinner, much to her anger.  Leslie Goldman, co-host of the program, wrote about their interview afterwards, addressing the fact that Crystal Renn is no way ‘plus-size’.

“The main physical characteristic that jumps out and whomps you upside the head the first time you lay eyes on Crystal Renn in person: She is not big. Not in any way, shape or form.  If you and your BFF, on your cattiest of catty days, were drunk, PMS-ing and had just swallowed a bottle of mean girl pills, and Renn walked by, you still wouldn’t think to comment on her weight.  If you ever saw her shopping in the plus-size department of a clothing store, you’d think she was picking up a gift for a friend.”

One of the most interesting points in Goldman’s post, was how at a size 10 herself – a size she had previously thought was thin – she felt more insecure after comparing herself to Renn, knowing that at her size she would also be considered ‘plus’. It’s intriguing that comparison, regardless of shape, can still result in insecurity.


The main argument against ‘anorexic’ models is that they don’t represent the majority of women.  Plus Model Magazine reported,

“Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today she weighs 23% less.”


This was construed to mean models are getting thinner, when in reality people are getting bigger! The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that over half the adult population is overweight or obese, which has increased from 44 per cent in 1995.   Personal trainer, Michelle Bridges, from The Biggest Loser wrote in an article regarding the ‘Danish fat tax’, that the promotion of a healthy population is “not about plus-size models, body image or eating disorders.  It’s about quality and quantity of life.”  She continues, “The more we get bogged down in the social acceptance of obesity the more difficult it is to make change – profound change – to our health and quality of life”.  Amongst the praise for body shape variety within our media, we should not let vital notions of health and well being go astray.

We are told that this is the plus-size revolution, what average-weight women have been longing for, and yet seats to plus-size fashion shows remain empty.  Last year’s Sydney Fashion Festival sold only 64 tickets out of 500 to its Big is Beautiful show, despite other shows during the event selling out. It is an increase however on 2009, when only 13 tickets sold to the same Big is Beautiful event.  Editor of Harpers Bazaar, Edwina McCann, understood the low sales and responded, “I d

on’t think the consumer is as obsessed with [plus-size] as the media is. I think the consumer is quite happy to accept the fact that a model, like an Olympic swimmer, is usually an exceptional beauty and doesn’t look like the rest of us.”


So, does it all just come down to selling a magazine, clothing and every other purchasable item involved? Surely not.

There has not been a change in body image, but rather a change in what is perceived as the ‘ideal’, which still alienates and excludes the majority of women everywhere.  Instead of viewing beauty as all inclusive, we are still looking to find the ‘perfect’ version of us who we can look to and admire, and when we still cannot achieve their level of ‘perfection’, we attack and condemn it for being unreachable. Plus size models are just bigger girls photo-shopped of dimples, vains, uneven skin-tone and wrinkles. What’s different? Nothing.






Featured Story: End the skinny shaming shall we?

This is a great post by Becca Sands, from Hello Giggles.  It’s funny, and it really does tackle the horrible reality of Skinny-Shaming; that girls who are naturally thin or choose to look after themselves through diet or exercise is considered superficial and a conformist to societal pressures. It’s a great read for everyone! Enjoy!


I recently had dinner with two besties. As we caught up with each other’s lives, my one friend tells me the story of a woman at work who has been trying to lose weight without much success. They held an Easter Egg Hunt at work for everyone and, of course, inside the eggs was candy. My friend, in her efforts to stay healthy, didn’t indulge, while her co-worker did. And who got reprimanded? I wish I could say no one did, because a person should feel free to eat or not eat candy, but that’s not how the world works lately. No, my friend, who chose to not eat candy, had to hear grief about her choice.

I will fully admit that I am a mid-twenty-something  who has done the classic Regina George, “I really wanna lose three pounds.” I’m pretty sure most of us have done this even while knowing that it’s obnoxious of us. But we say that because 1) we feel obligated to feel bad about our bodies. If we feel good about our bodies, we’re snobs and bitches, and we’d rather feel fat than snobby or bitchy, and 2) if we say what we’re really thinking, no one is going to believe us anyway.

When a person starts working out, they tone up, lose weight, and may even look better. And you know what happens then? They’re punished for it. Remember when Lea Michelle dropped weight after the first season of Glee? Honestly, you’d think she had slaughtered a billion cows and then refused to eat any of them, because clearly, her only reason for losing the weight was because she thought she was fat. That was the whole world’s assumption. “She’s too skinny!” people shouted across Tumblr. “She looked fine, what is she doing to herself, what kind of message is she sending to the children WE SHOULD BURN HER AT THE STEAK.” Steak, stake, see what I did? Never mind.

When a picture of a thin girl comes on Tumblr, she’s either creepily turned into an ideal being, or thrown under the bus. There’s no middle, “Oh, she’s pretty,” because if you are to have a shred of self-worth and slight feminism, you must hate the skinny girls and rather die than look like that. That wasn’t hyperbole, by the way. I saw an image of a very attractive, skinny girl with the caption, “I would rather kill myself than be so [expletive] skinny. Whore.”

Well you know what, ladies and gentlemen? These women have stories. And sometimes they are not stories you are meant to know.

Maybe that “skinny whore” is a girl trying to redefine her beauty as she struggles with anorexia. Maybe that girl who’s suddenly toned up and dropped a few pounds is working out with new vigor because of a health issue that’s risen. Maybe they all just enjoy it.

We’re not supposed to judge plus-sized women because that is wrong, and I am in full agreement with that. So how did that judgment morph into the judgment of small girls? I’m genuinely curious: what’s the ideal weight? At what point is a person going to say, “You look really good,” and be totally fine if looking good means overweight or skinny? When is the skinny-shaming going to stop?

Back in February I joined a gym and I love the way I’m feeling, but I always end up feeling guilty afterwards, as if I am betraying the current mindset of women. Why should I feel guilty for working out? I’m a small girl whose mother has cancer and father has diabetes. You know the best way to avoid following their footsteps all the way to the hospital? Exercise. But when I do it or talk about it, I feel judged. I have a workout application on my phone that encourages me to have a friend who can be my “sponsor,” someone who I can share my successes with as I work on bettering my body. It pained me how long it took for me to think of someone I could trust, because the first friends who came to mind I was afraid would get annoyed or judge me, as if everyone thinks I’m doing it for some superficial, Hollywood, anti-feminist reason for which I should feel ashamed.

No. The world should feel ashamed. The world should feel ashamed for not considering for one second that I, along with every person at the gym, could have a good reason beyond the superficiality of appearance. I understand your drive: you want boys and girls of all sizes, all types, to feel normal and welcome and beautiful, and I can get behind that. The problem is that in trying to embrace everyone (namely, the overweight), we’ve openly hated the other extreme. Why punish those trying to do something good for our bodies? Or for doing something required by our doctor? Or doing something for enjoyment!

I know there are boys and girls out there with problems. I have friends who have struggled with eating disorders. I also feel inclined to mention that their disorders did not stem from trouble with, or fear of, weight. It manifests for all sorts of reasons, and anyone who would sit there and tell either of my friends, “OMG, but you’re like, so skinny!” deserves a few choice words, starting with, “You are the shallow one.” Stop making it about weight and start making it about health.

I want to feel good. I want to be able to run a mile again. I want to be able to lift a bag of groceries without my shoulder popping in pain. I want to be able to go on a walk with my boyfriend and not huff and puff after twenty minutes. The bonus will be I will tighten up, things will look and hang better, and I can wear that super-fabulous dress from Modcloth that DOESN’T FIT ME ANYMORE, THE NERVE. And I will be so fantastic and you won’t judge me for it because now you understand that I have a story. And so do others. And you probably do, too.

Can we let it go now, ladies? Can we just let each other make healthy decisions without the raised eyebrows and points and mock-concern? You’ll know when you need to be concerned, and maybe there will come a time when you do need to sit down with your over-zealous friend and discuss her health choices, although I truly hope not. But until then, trust that most of us are making healthy choices for the right reasons, and your support will help us get there quickly and happily.



We all need to be a little more like Samantha Jones…

I love Sex and the City. Whenever it is on, no matter what episode or how many times I’ve seen it, I’ll watch it, start – middle – end with my eyes glued to the screen.  SATC taught me so many life lessons, it was like living through the lives of four women, who each made the mistake first, recouped, deliberated then shared their ‘little black book of triumphs and disasters’ with me and the rest of the world to learn from.   I truly believe its a modern, visual equivalent of classic American literature, and should be studied just like Catcher in the Rye or The Great Gatsby. Aside from the nudity, language, drug use etc, which is really just entertainment fluff (although the reality of being an adult), the topics dealt with in the show are a better display of life education than any classroom could attempt.

SATC pushed the envelope, it had the guts to bring to light controversial topics, from women having casual sex, children outside of marriage, divorce, adultery, the list goes on.  However, one particular issue it began conversion around, and only in its second episode, was women and body issues.  In Season 1, Episode 2 ‘Models vs. Mortals’, the four girls deliberate on their insecurities, and are angered by the ‘ideal’ of tall, skinny models.  In the clip below, the girls attack thin models before the start to pick apart body parts of their own they’re dissatisfied with.  In terms of body shaming (regardless of size) I hate this scene, but I also love it because it was revolutionary at the time.  The big reason why I love this scene so much is Samantha’s response, she has nothing bad to say about her body, she has embraced it wholeheartedly!

There are so many lessons to be gained from this episode.

    1. Don’t attack the skinny frames of models, that is their job, and while it may be thin and unrealistic for most people, they normally have the frame that supports a smaller BMI.
    2. If someone is happy with their body, don’t treat them like they are ‘stuck-up’ or ‘vain’, learn from them and their body positivity.
    3. Don’t fat talk, “I’m fat”, “I hate my arms” etc. No one likes to be around people like this because it makes them start to feel insecure about themselves as well.  Don’t search for faults
    4. Take a note from SAMANTHA’s book. Embrace what you have, know that no person who is beautiful, is without flaw.  Imperfections create interest, which is enticing, human and natural.

Related Links:

Six ways to stop a friend from Fat-Talking

Do you play the body shame game?

How Sex and the City helped me love my body

I know I’m guilty too…

4c202d30a9ad0c0e871c4716011c5b26  To be honest, a lot of the reasoning behind this blog is stemmed from personal experiences.  As a thinner girl, I have long dealt with skinny shamming, but it is my own personal admittance of body shaming against others that I believe makes this blog truly worthwhile.

A lot of people don’t realise they’re guilty of body shaming others.  They don’t understand that thoughts about others which are vocalised, and may seem harmful, are fund insulting by the subject.

Personally, I make judgement of what other people wear…

What makes this very weird, is that I don’t judge those I know, and know well.  I never think twice of someone I love, yet a complete stranger can walk pass me and I can jump straight to a conclusion regarding who they are based on their appearance.  I understand this is completely pathetic, and I’m often disgusted when I catch myself in the act.  When I do, I immediately stop, and push my thoughts to other things. To be honest, I’m not sure why I do it.  I guess I often forget that while my passions lie in fashion, others have different priorities. And that’s not a bad thing.  My conflict here however, is that I believe that style and what we wear is an externalisation of our personality, and while it may not always suit current trends etc, presenting oneself well is important.  I don’t mean that people need worry about the latest and greatest unreasonably priced item around, but that they’re comfortable and reasonably-dressed. Even if that’s a t-shirt and jeans, if it fits the situation, then go for your life.

I know this is a grey area, people have such different beliefs regarding what one should wear, and I know it is of no one else’s business what others think of the clothing they chose, but I believe that taking care of yourself and being conscious about what you wear shows self-respect.

To end body shaming, the first step to to question whether or not you’re guilty of doing so.  Whether you judge what others wear, make back-handed compliments regarding their looks, find natural flaws in another’s appearance when intimidated to make yourself feel better or make someone feel bad for being thin or overweight, you need to stop and be honest with yourself about the reasons you do it.  Think about when you do it most, is it at a party when you’re feeling inadequate, in the office, amongst friends? Once you identify the situations, its time to start working on yourself, work out why you feel the need to judge, and then start to push those thoughts out of your mind.  A lot of people think that a solution to body shaming is to (in your head) find something you like about that person, but that’s just as bad.  The concentration is still on judging another’s character and looks. It doesn’t matter if you’re finding flaws or perfections, it’s just as demeaning.  How would you feel if someone felt compelled to force out bad thoughts regarding your looks by trying to find something positive.

Compliments should come naturally, and you should only voice them if you believe that someone would be genuinely happy to hear them.  Remember that body shaming is engrained in us by the media we consume, try swapping those trashy gossip mags for better reading material.

I encourage your feedback and thoughts regarding this issue, all comments, unless deemed off topic or insensitive, will remain.

Tales of a Thin Girl


The aim of this site is to stop body shame. A lot of people don’t really know what that is, despite the fact that they probably participate in the very action every day. It’s not to say you’re a bad person, it’s simply that we have been conditioned in this way.

Body shaming is making someone feel bad about their body, typically out of ones own insecurities. This doesn’t necessarily mean that person is big or overweight.  A lot of the time, particularly nowadays as a result of the tabloid media’s (contradictory) backlash on ‘skinny’, small framed girls suffer as well. Ten years ago, women were angered that media didn’t diversify the types of women used in commercials, magazines and TV shows for example, today, a woman larger than a size 10 (US 6) can’t be featured in an ad without the words ‘real women have curves’ being blasted all over the front.  What do you think that now says to the girls who aren’t naturally blessed with ample breast, a cinched waist and a bodacious behind? It says you’re not sexy and you’re not a real women. Diversification is still not reached, and the sad fact is, it probably never will be.

To stop body shaming, we have to start by doing two things. The first is to start with ourselves, once we work on being self-aware and confident in who we are, only then can we challenge feelings of inadequacy and intimidation in the face of others. And two, we must stop analysing each other, stop comparing, stop challenging and start to be kind, friendly and appreciate the good qualities in everyone. Hopefully this blog can help achieve these things.